he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
