her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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