8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize