From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
