woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
