If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
