Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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