But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
