Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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