Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize