the day after is always just damage control
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
