maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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