The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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