We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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