please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i will never coherently bang her
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
