i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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