Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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