Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
its not stalking. its research.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
