Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
