you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
