ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
two words: eviction party
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
