"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
