God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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