I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's just like the Real World with babies
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
