i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What a dumb baby whore.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
