gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
