i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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