Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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