Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
