I'm laying in your front yard are you home
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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