i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
