I got chris browned last night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
