do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
wanna go halves on a baby?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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