How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
