Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
