just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
