"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
