I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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