I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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