ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
