And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
