the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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