Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
