so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
