Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
