**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You can't motorboat a personality
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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