he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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