Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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