My balls are so social today.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
