I want to make a zoo with you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
