he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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