Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
